Eck!

I'm not one to rant. Ok, maybe I am. Alright, I always rant. Not always that makes me sound bitter and angry. I'm opinionated. Sue me. This post is primarily for the ladies and possibly for a few men. I love the summer, the pool, cookouts, golf, swimming. All the great things that come with warm weather. It's bikini season. I don't love bikinis. I think they suck and I don't see why the one piece swimsuits with the pretty little skirts won't come back into style. I like them. What?? Neon pink and red don't go together?? Since when? (The 80s, I know.) But back to my topic: bikinis. EVERWHERE you look you see an article titled "How to get in bikini shape!" or "Get your best beach body ever!" Yeah yeah yeah. Working out, circuits and strength training, cardio etc. I only know those terms because A) I lived in a weight room for a majority of my teen and adult years and B) I married a fitness freak. I mean freak in the nicest way. Actually the best way. He is obsessed with getting fit and is obsessed with helping me get fit. I know what you're thinking-He should love you just the way you are. And he does. He wouldn't change me for anything, but I do stand in front of the mirror on occasion and grab a pudgy place and whine. I'm a girl. It's innate. So as he hears me present a problem, it's only Steve's nature to present a solution. I wouldn't have it any other way but I have my own solution.



Introducing Brandi Workman's 2008 Guide to getting a beach body



1) Quit your day job. You won't have the energy or time to workout prior to work or after. Not to mention those rigorous workouts found in fitness magazine. I mean would you want anyone to see you doing this in public. I didn't think so.



2) Hire a personal trainer. Get a routine that fits your needs. Only a trained professional would know this. I mean, I SEE my problem parts, but I have no idea how to really fix them. I was trained to get strong and play basketball. Not be a bikini model.



3) Find a personal chef. Eating healthy is so hard especially if you have a life. There are all kinds of cookbooks out there claiming to make your time in the kitchen minimal. Yeah...Or you can forget all of that and do the following:



4) Get a great photographer. There seems to be a trend with these perfect beach bodies. They are all still photos of tan women. With perfect bodies, hair, skin and lighting.



5) Learn how to airbrush those great photos. That's really all it takes. If I had a way to perfect my skin and rolls I would look like a 10 and have the dream body. Then I'd wear a mu mu the rest of time. No one will know the difference.



Using my simple guide you will find your perfect beach body in a matter of days. Or you could just do it the old fashioned way. I think that's called genetics which isn't an option for me.



Happy swimming season to all!

Who would want to bring back the old school swimsuits?